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How to cultivate clarity, capacity, and courage

It's been a year since the realization of one of my most audacious, complex, terrifying, emotionally trying yet exhilarating projects - uprooting my family in New York and bringing us to Europe.    undefined

Logistically differing tremendously from my own move to the USA nearly 20 years ago, the reflection got me thinking about three major crucial elements in this endeavor... that happen to be paramount in my clients' various journeys as well.    



But we'll start with the latter because it's been my experience, personal and professional, that this is oftentimes the first obstacle to overcome. Do we even have the courage to want what we want? To claim and name it? To pursue it? 



Brene Brown's speech on the topic skyrocketed her into the global subject matter stratosphere, similar to Amy Cuddy's practical exercise shared during her TedTalk.   

Yes, there is art and science behind the cultivation of courage. But I would like to offer a different perspective and show you that you've most likely already trained this proverbial muscle:

  • If you are a parent, you're in the arena of courage every day. Bringing a new life into the world, navigating the sea of the unknowns, the unpredictables, the ever-changings, and so on, is an act
    of courage.
  • If you are not a parent by choice, you're in the arena of courage every day. Standing in your power and honoring your truth in the face of societal pressure, especially if you're a woman, is an act of courage.
  • If you're on a journey to become a parent through alternative ways, you're in the arena of courage every day. Willingly putting your heart and hopes out there time and time again without any guarantees, is an act of courage.

As mentioned, at the end of the day, courage is like a muscle; it requires practice, continuous flexing, and utilization to develop, grow, and sustain.

In addition, the courage required to say yes to a life-altering opportunity that life offers differs from the one needed to intentionally embark on a path towards the realization of a big goal and daring vision...


This can be quite an abstract until we put it in a practical context. Imagine having a can, filled to the rim. It needs to be emptied, or replaced with a bigger one. Our capacities to envision, call in [fill-in-the-blank], receive it, and navigate it with joy & grace are no different.

  • Physical is the easiest one to cultivate and expand, and you can start with your weekly schedule. Since "But I don't have the time to..." seems to be one of the most frequent and seemingly legit excuses, I challenge you to give yourself 10 hours back. Per week. Hint: removing social media apps from your phone, strategically tweaking your business model, and embracing your family's ever-changing routine can simply give you back hours every day...
  • Mental is a bit more complex as it has to do with both, purging and expansion. See, our belief systems, fears, convictions, conditioning, and perceptions take up a lot of space in our so-called operating system. Working on a mindset through conscious and subconscious reprogramming is
    a good start to release what no longer belongs, and shift & expand the rest that supports you.
  • Emotional one is closely tied to the mental one. It essentially translates into your (cap)ability to manage your own emotions as well as understand the emotions of people around you. AKA Emotional Intelligence. Shifting from reacting to the circumstances to responding, and ultimately
    co-creating. While "Why is this happening for me?" instead of to me is a good start, I would also suggest you remain mindful of bypassing; all of the emotions are good, needed, and healthy, we just need to learn how to be with them and process them without being consumed by them. 
  • Energetic can frequently be brushed aside as too-woo. We can spend days discussing the mechanics, the science, and the magic of it! To keep it short, let's focus on vibrational frequency.
    Everything vibrates at its own frequency, from our internal organs to emotions, and there comes a time when "fake til you make it" stops working. How many times have you done everything by the book but saw absolutely no results? Or worse, things began to degrees? The key becomes becoming, meaning matching the vibration of that which we desire. It's been my experience that once we're in this alignment, time collapses or simply ceases to exist. For example, things that logically couldn't and shouldn't happen, do. Opportunities we did not even know were possible, fall on our lap. Deadlines that were contractually cemented, suddenly become flexible. 
  • Spiritual one goes by many names, shapes, and practices. Personally, I started to practice "Turst in Trust, Faith in Faith" when navigating my journeys through the unknown, doing hard things,
    getting out of my comfort zone, and taking leaps of faith. As I once wrote "Stop falling back on your fate, start surrendering forward towards your destiny," I would offer again to remain vigilant about spiritual bypassing in your own practices and applications. 


It's interesting how unhelpful a simple question of "What do you want?" can be when we're so consumed with the daily minutiae that we can barely think about what we'd like for dinner, much less contemplate our big life meaning and purpose.

And other times, it's simply safer that way... No need to open that deeply-tucked-away box of heart's desires and soul's knowing that would have us take on in a completely different direction, upsetting
those around us, disappointing those we try to impress, and risking the comfort and illusion of safety of our daily routines. Right?

But when we keep repeating this question, over and over again, we can also lean into the somatic experience of it. What feels light? Expansive? Exciting? Joyous?

Mind you, emotional intelligence is required to distinguish between the initial intuitive response and the breaks our mind/ego slams on within a few seconds, serving us a laundry list of (totally logical)
reasons against it.

As complex as all of this seems, there is no right or wrong sequence to approaching these practices. It all depends on where you are, what you need, what you prioritize, and what are you willing to
commit to.

There are also no timelines - sometimes it can take years or diligent practice while other times, simply a question asked differently, offering a shift in perspective, can be that final, missing

What there is, however, is your decision to get started instead of waiting for the perfect time to do it. While you wait for [fill-in-the-blak], time will pass anyway; and by the time you're ready, it's oftentimes too late. 

Simply make a choice, and then the next one, and the next.  

Oh, and remember that resistance is not necessarily a sign that you shouldn't pursue something; instead it can simply test your commitment to that which you say you want. It can also be related to your perception of what you believe is waiting on the other side (in which case, refer to the Mental Capacity part.)


Mentor. Speaker. Writer.