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Leadership, trauma-bonding, and unconventional solutions

· Legacy,Intentional Leader

There is this community that prides itself with empowering women, helping them speak their truths. Except, as it turns out, it has to be a very specific kind truth. So let's talk about leadership, trauma-bonding, and what it takes to move the needle.

See, one of the members of that supposedly safe community celebrated her sexuality, and shared how much she enjoys making love to her husband. She made the mistake of adding how it is her wish that others would be able to find more joy in their sex lives as well.

Response? It was Mean-Girls-on-steroids in the comments section until the entire thing was taken down. For the record, I spent 1/2 of my life on girls women's teams and I had never witnessed this level of viciousness!

But that same community will gather around and cheer on any fuck-them-all post that bashes husbands and men, trauma-bonds over how hard life is, and how shitty their teenagers’ behaviors are.

I get it - the community was build around this prominent person who rose to fame by sharing their vulnerability, by being open about their struggles, and a few glimpses into their "happily ever after."

boIt’s designed for trauma-bonding and not for problem-solving perse.

Still, it got me thinking.

We live in a culture when this kind of duality is as acceptable like the green grass and blue sky are.

We live in an era when we're all caught up in talking points, click-bait headlines, and blanketed statements.

But it's the nuances that matter.

And processes.

The what was and why so that we can adequately reconfigure the how and the what could/should be.

When the most optimal solution and simple answers requires taking a hard look at complex intersection of polarizing topics.

Sex and women empowerment being one of them.

Witnessing this event also made me curious about the the role our own vulnerability, openness, and honestly when we are in a [thought leadership] position as writers, mentors, coaches, teachers - AND when we want for our people to move forward, to grow, to heal, to evolve…

Does it mean we need to censor ourselves, carefully wrap our teachings, tools, technologies into pretty ribbons - you know, the “give them what they want not what they need?”

Perhaps that’s a question for marketers. And that’s where marketers and women like myself - the unconventional powerhouses, mystics, multidimensional beings, don’t always see eye to eye.

This is where we take a stand for the depth of our souls, vastness of our insights, ancestral wisdom and experiences, and the height of our perspective.

That’s where we refuse to settle for the lowest common denominator, but instead expect from those who surround us, to rise to the highest one…

We see and hold them in excellence, commitment, bravery……because we give nothing less. It’s quite intimidating, I know. And it’s what makes us unrelatable to most.

But so be it.

We own it - and that is also what makes us unstoppable.