"What we see is just scratching the surface of what is really going on, and what we think we know about it is much different than it seems." I've been hearing this from multiple sources these days, and it reminds me of my Dedi.
Tho I was only 12 when he passed away, the vision of him sitting in the kitchen, leaning forward with one elbow resting on his knees, and a cigarette between his fingers, is engrained in my memory. In the background, the morning news broadcast via radio. His look, distant.
Dedi was a well-read, pragmatic, and at times quite cynical man who grew up in one of the poorest Bosnian regions during WWII. Looking for a better future, he came to Slovenia where he met my Babi, and together, they built the home I grew up in. (Not far from where my family and I now live after we returned from USA.)
Not a day went by when they would not be discussing current events. History and the future. Politics and religion. Passionately, and with a profound depth of understanding just how complex, vast, and intertwined things are, always were, and always will be. How nothing is ever what it seems.
What is also engrained in my memory, is this sense of uncertainty.
Perhaps it's epigenetics? Perhaps is environmental? Perhaps, it's just a thought pattern?
Could it be all of the above?
I felt it, just like most people, countless times throughout my life as an elite athlete, as a business owner, as a mom, and a wife. As a woman. As a human.
And for the longest since 2016, it would follow me like a cloud, I could not shake it of... So much of what kept unfolding was so unprecedented yet, so eerily familiar.
"Change your mind and energy, change your reality," I kept hearing.
"OK, what the f?!" ranted my friend. "I am so done with these platitudes! Does that mean I am incompetent? How can I fix my mindset if I can't even remember where I put those damn flashcards that outline the magical 5-step process? When my thyroid issues are so severe that my brain turned into a fog? Not to mention, I barely have a bandwidth to get through he days with all the shit happening at home!"
Right?
I remembered how, while going through my own personal crisis at home, I kept watching all those supposed-to-be-helpful videos from subject matter experts, those who already went through the hell and lived to share their lessons, insights, and motivation,…
And I remember intentionally seeking and measuring up that same drama. There was plenty of it, for sure. Don't get me wrong - my ego was fired up, ready to prove itself. My soul, anything but.
But, I felt tired, exhausted, drained, and drowning in uncertainty.
Until one day, I just had to stop. All of it. And to take another look. And to re-commit each and every day to shifting my perspective. Changing my perception. Expanding my awareness.
Tuning intuitively into what ought to be released, and intentionally finding the courage to let it go. To keep going.
No flashcards were needed for that, though it took conscious commitment. Minute to minute, day to day.
By no means am I suggesting to unplug from the complex reality we live in, to disengage from what we know is our truth, and to stop being/becoming a part of the change, solution.
By no means am I suggesting to gaslight ourselves in the name of [fill in the blank].
I am offering, however, is an invitation to perhaps take another look knowing that even our truth might not always be what it seems. Knowing that more than one thing can be true at the same time.
Because what we think we know, just might be a lot different from what is actually going on.
Because sometimes, a shift in perspective, a change in perception, and an expansion of awareness can literally be lifesaving. Or at least make for the first next step...
...whether we're talking about moving through the goo of personal development, or evolution of relationships. Or discussing current events. History and the future. Politics and religion. Money and sex. And everything in between.
Sara
Mentor. Speaker. Writer.